Skip to main content

tv   Real Time With Bill Maher  CNN  August 24, 2024 5:00pm-6:00pm PDT

5:00 pm
comprehensive eye exam for
5:01 pm
no the hbo original series, real time with bill maher
5:02 pm
thank, you very much all, right. >> thank you very much you've got a big show. so much to cover some are for cover because we've been off for a whole month, men. one month. what can happen in a month or a month ago, the democrats were so resigned to going into battle with the skeletal remains of joe biden and now you their ecstatic because they
5:03 pm
have this young ish hot-ish woman. >> it's like a rom-com. you were there all along and we didn't see those shit now she's leading in the poll ever since kamala took over in the polls, i man, trump has been petty and vindictive and lying and winding, so no change a month, ago, it was just a month ago or less show when joe biden was saying the lord almighty would have to tell him to step down then the lord almighty knocked on the door and said, joe, it's mean nancy pelosi i got to give it to the democrats. they did what they never do. they got organized
5:04 pm
right away. they got united joe out cam vice president, get the dad bod guy in minnesota we need someone to appeal to them. red state, white guys it's like coke coaxing a cat under the car. you know, come on out. it's okay. i've got an old white guy with me but yeah, i mean, that was a good choice for them. we relate to tim walz. we know who tim walz is. he's the guy at the end of the bargain when shut the fuck up about high-school football no. >> i mean, i like him juana and a lot of energy, lot of hugging. it's like vice president and cocaine bear but
5:05 pm
no, we've got to give it to the democrats. they had a great convention with a message and the message is we're the party that talks to which people like adults, and respects their intelligence, or we're going to say it to you, get it through your thick skull the message the message was we're a normal political party were not great we're, we're corolla not great, but just remember the other choice is a child molesters van that's also a car bomb the one, big disappointment at the democratic convention. it was widely reported that beyonce was going to show up and did not. but that's the difference with the democrats and the republicans, it's it's appointing when beyonce, for
5:06 pm
the democrats, doesn't show up and for the republicans that they can get hulk hogan to show up but look, i mean, i'm sorry, republicans, you a month ago, you had it and they can't. now, you've lost your mojo today. j. d. vance is couched, said not tonight i'm just not in the mood anymore. no, i'm telling you trump did not see this coming and he is now shooting in his pants biden said, when i did that, they made me quit now clunkers getting desperate today. he asked if someone would shoot him in the other ear i know he is his own worst
5:07 pm
enemy when he gets like this. so the republicans are trying to cheer trump up through this difficult period today. in the middle of his speech, lindsey graham stood up and what that's my dad we've got a great show congressman, dan crenshaw you didn't live this strong this long to get put on the shelf like a porcelain doll. >> if you have post-menopausal osteoporosis and are at high risk for fracture you can build new bone with event at asked your doctor if you can do more than just slowing down bone loss with a vanity once stronger bones then builds new bone event and he can help in just 12 months if entity is proven to reduce spine fracture risk by 73% the vanity can increased risk of heart attack, stroke, or death from a cardiovascular problem do not
5:08 pm
take affinity if you have low blood calcium or are allergic to it serious allergic reactions and low blood calcium have occurred tell your doctor about jawbone problems as they have been reported with affinity or about painting your hip, groin, or thigh as unusual? bone fractures have occurred don't let a break put you on a shelf, talk to your doctor about building new bone with a vanity, has guy catch shoot. >> he's got we got how do you sleep at night on a mattress for mattress firm. so isolating it's the best sale of a year, save up to $700 and get a free adjustable get matched at mattress firm, sleep at night makes you as long as october complex loved get out of my head brian understanding like this every.
5:09 pm
>> birthday, marty. oh, no. yeah. >> let me get this thanks. your too kind of heard that unlimited 2% cash back the wells fargo active cash credit card dad, i got a huge barbecue wasting this bottles has any to pre-treat and that stuff has way more water a little bit of time goes along way. so you can
5:10 pm
save your shirt and maybe even a little money, more money for nights ae library for a better clean with less. >> it's got to be tied with so many choices on booking.com, there are so many tina fey as i could so i hired body doubles, mountain climbing, tina or treat claimant t9, a beach resort nice booking.com, booking dot yeah first up to you, the former chief white house correspondent to cnn and anchors the prime time show the source with kaitlan collins. >> kaitlan collins how are you doing why? >> i know garber watching you each night on the convention, you must have just drawn last night or today, this morning. >> i mean, it was like truly i'm saying i've never shaken so many hands or been like so close to so many people because the democrats have so many more delegates than the republicans
5:11 pm
do. so the floor is like totally insane. >> yeah. i mean, look, i've been watching conventions for a long time. there is still some, you the exciting about being on the floor. there or something. >> oh, the floors. the best assignment that's what i did at the republican convention. and then i did it at this convention, but it's, you're just kind of walking around and it's like all these lawmakers and people that you typically tried to interview and wrangle to get on the show. and then they're just there and you can just pop a question to them. but also you can really get a good read on how they're feeling, what the where the party is, what they're nervous about, what they're excited about. and i think it's the best way to report on what actually happening at the both conventions who won. i mean, if we do this bike and mentioned what's your what's your measurement? >> well, i mean, i guess is that. like an, obama dick joe i
5:12 pm
mean, excitement. i mean, i would say a lot of it is i would say the democrats because i mean, i thought the republicans had it in. i think it turned out so well for the democrats because it's one thing to like think you're dead in the water and then you have this extra energy from oh my god, we're out of it. and now we're ahead. there. you couldn't that's why we love politics. >> so one predict and they're totally shocked by it too. i mean, the way we are as reporters is we're kind of measuring and seeing what's going on and just learning and talking to people. they feel that too. i mean, they're just as shocked as we are that that this actually happened and that they did coalesce behind a candidate and that they are where they were this week in chicago. i think as far as terms of the convention's are never surprised anymore. they used to actually be you didn't know what the outcome was going to be that boat in modern times that you've always kind of known there, just highly produced affairs and so they're both well-produced. i think the
5:13 pm
republican convention and the democratic convention but there was just kind of this energy to the democratic convention of we didn't know this was going to happen and they weren't taking it for granted, was kind of the vibe that i got from the delegates that i talked to. >> what do you think about the fact that kamala doesn't talk to the press? in a way, i feel like it's more insulting than what trump does. and trump says, you're the enemy of the people, which is pretty bad. but she's kind of saying, is, i don't need you i don't i'm not i'm not talking to you. you don't matter. you're not relevant anymore. to me. that's even worse than i hate you. it's like i don't think about you i don't know if it's worse than denigrating the press on a daily basis, which is what donald trump did. >> i mean, i was i covered him in the white house every day as a as a correspondent. and, you know, oftentimes it's too to kind of, you know, shake you if you were asking him a question, he would try to get no personal argument with you or just deny or lie about what you were asking about. and so i don't i don't know if i would compare the two. i do think she should
5:14 pm
talk to the press. i think anyone who wants to have access to the nuclear codes should be willing to sit down and take questions i'm not going to hold my breath. >> well, this gets her first. >> well, i think she'll do you before she does me, but i'll start what i mean, i came i mean, you made press because you were on stephen colbert show and he said something like you guys had cnn just report the news straight and the crowd burst into laughter look, i'm on cnn. i guess we're on it right now i mean, they showed this show the next night. i don't know how i don't know how we get away with it, but the fox but they do all these dirty jokes but i'm glad i'm a big routine for cnn but that tells you a lot, doesn't it? i mean, how do you guys think you were doing in that arena of
5:15 pm
like, this is a terribly divided country. we're only politicized. lot of people just hate the other side. and cnn, in my view, should be the place where both sides can watch. how do you think you're doing with it? >> how will cnn is the place where both sides can watch. i think you know, my show is evidence of that we have lawmakers on from both parties will have elizabeth warren on one net one night. what ted cruz on another night, i think lawmakers from both parties this isn't should take questions and he should push them. but on the scene and being a place of credibility, i mean, look at what just happened in chicago. we had 300 people from cnn on the ground covering that convention. there were several reporters from just our team alone on the floor bringing it in real-time to people. and i think cnn puts resources behind i'm things and just brings a level of news that you don't get anywhere else. and i think cnn, i'm talking about the people on cnn and what i know what the
5:16 pm
conservative side of america things. and i don't blame them. i watched kamala speech last night. it ended at 8:00, nine i guess 11 or nine in the east it wasn't until 11, 23 till the concert. the one conservative guy, what's his name? >> scott jennings, lonely scott, i call him david urban. was there to wait a second. wait a second. i watched from 8:09 to 823. they were just gushing about how greatest speech it was. i think she did fine. think it was as good as they were making it out to be. but if i'm a conservative in america and i'm watching cnn just for the straight middle of the road. that's what i hear for 15 minutes is it's great. and then lonely scott it does look i mean, when you see the path, it does look like tokenism. it's kind of like the same as the view. it's like it's almost better to have nobody there. like msnbc didn't have i don't think you could say i don't think you could say it's better to have nobody there then also lament
5:17 pm
the fact that you don't think the conservative guy, scott jennings, who is great and we have him on my show all the time, spoke up early enough. i think it was a democratic convention. they turned to democrats, people like david axelrod who ran successful presidential democratic campaigns first for their analysis of this and i don't think that you can say that cnn is anything but fair. i mean, look we covered president biden's exit from the race very closely. the pressure on him to get out. and i feel like i can speak with authority on this. i'm from alabama. i'm from a very red state. i've a very conservative family. a lot of them who are trump voters. they watch my show every night and i think they know that they can, they can trust me that we call bullshit on every side, not just whatever leaning our audience may be. and i think that's something that people actually want more of is to hear from that. i think scott's voice is really important, but i think other voices are important to hear from and everyone who was speaking last night. it's not like they were all democrats. i mean, we dana bash, jake tapper, abby phillip, all my
5:18 pm
amazing colleagues they come across giving analysis. >> they come across that way in a moment like that. it was like five to one and always looks like five-line. okay. i'll move on but i feel like in this era we're in until donald trump goes away, which could be never the important thing for a network like cnn is to, is to be able to talk about donald trump, which is so difficult because he is awful there's no two ways about it. he is an awful person a terrible person to be running the country how do you what have you just say that half the country turns off. i saw the town hall. you did with him? >> yeah. >> now, i don't know who was in that audience. i write, but rather i should say i don't know how they picked that audience. but whoever was in that audience loved them from donald trump republicans like donald trump, that is a fact that was not a republican on
5:19 pm
them as they, i mean, they said it was an independent and republican audience. >> because what the timing is important that that townhall was done in may 2023 ahead of the republican primary. and of course we know a lot of republicans were expected to get in. and so you're not going to put democrats in the audience that's because it's where republican primaries in new hampshire. so is republican and republican leaning independents because those are the people who decided who is going to be the republican nominee. and i think it was jarring for people because they hadn't really heard a lot from donald trump. that was his first major interview that he had done besides fox news since he left the white house? and i just think as a journalist, my view of it, one, i'm only in charge of the questions that i asked and the follow-ups that we asked him, which i think we did a very good job of that night, but i think if you think not putting trump on tv is going to make trump, you know, that's not what i'm saying. >> what i'm saying is i watched that. i think you did do a good job hold his feet to the fire, but the crowd loved him it didn't matter that he was spewing bullshit. he always
5:20 pm
used bullshit. they love it. >> that's presented of america okay. we're about lecun's do love him and they may very well be cut to the panel where it's like five people shooting on him so they just saw like many minutes of this guy saying things, people loving him, and then five people who look like elitist because you don't get it. you see, you don't get what we'd like about him. >> well, i think two things can be true. i think people can like donald trump and maybe not care about the veracity of his statements or what he promises to do and whether we're not he fulfills that or changes his position on it. and i think you can have people, you know, talk about that and analyze it after i don't think that those two things can exist together. >> okay. so can i ask you one last thing about her sing the way certain memes takeover in this culture brat what do you think about this somehow kamala got to be brat and really tell us well i want you to read i'll
5:21 pm
read what charli xcx herself said about it. but what i'll ask you first what your opinion on this was that a smart move to embrace that. what is brat mean to you is it smart for the harris campaign to embrace it? >> yeah. i mean, i think in a time when everyone wants young voters who historically don't turn out in large numbers, they're leaning into it and it was a moment. i don't think everyone on the harris campaign are certainly not in the white house fully understood brat, either. it's not really washington's strong suit. i live there for close to a decade, but i think they leaned into it in a sense of how does it appeal to young voters? and if older voters don't get it, it doesn't, it's not a big deal but i think anything that campaigns can do to reach out to young people, trump is doing this. he does a lot of podcasts as people that maybe most people haven't heard of. but he's trying his campaign. i've talked to them. they're trying to reach that same subset of
5:22 pm
voters, obviously, different leanings, but but i think that's how they're trying to go out and meet young people where they are, whether it's a meme or a podcast that's somebody what she said. >> this is how she herself to find a trolley. that girl who is a little messy see and likes to party and maybe says some dumb things some times who feels herself, but maybe also has a breakdown what kind of identify with you feel like i'm saying i don't want my president to be this what kind of like parties through it a little bit volatile like does dumb things. it sounds like trump it doesn't sound like you think trump is brat. >> i think he's very brett. i think you're right. thank you for coming on alright. >> great to see you type two diabetes discovered the ozempic tries i got the power of three.
5:23 pm
lord, my a1c cv risk and lost some weight. >> and studies the majority of people reached an a1c under seven and maintained it. i'm under seven ozempic lowers the risk give major cardiovascular events such as stroke, heart attack, or death in adults, also with known heart disease. >> i'm lowering my risk. >> adults lost up to 14 pounds, lost some i was epic, isn't for people with type one diabetes, don't share needles or pens or reuse needles, don't take ozempic if for your family ever had medullary thyroid cancer or have multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type-2 or the allergic to it. it's not ozempic and get medical help right away. if you get a lump or swelling in your neck, severe stomach pain, or an allergic reaction? action, serious side effects may include pancreatitis, gallbladder problems may occur. tell your provider about vision problems are changes taking ozempic with us sulfonylurea or insulin may increase low blood sugar risk side effects like nausea, vomiting, and diarrhea may lead to dehydration, which may worsen kidney problems living with type two diabetes as about the power of three with ozempic with, so many choices on booking.com, there are so many tina phase i could be. i hired body doubles in
5:24 pm
dorsey. tina loves to luck, sweet booking.com booking dot yeah welcome. welcome. welcome yes with darkness mistake bright blue been a bianna that it is my pleasure to go. you ryan, today you can see for yourself yes. >> how do you sleep at night on a mattress? >> for mattress firm? >> i sleep it's the best sale of the year, save up to 700 craig here pays too much for verizon wireless. so he sublet half his real estate office... [ bird squawks loudly ] to a pet shop. meg's moving company uses t-mobile.
5:25 pm
so she scaled down her fleet to save money. and don's paying so much for at&t, he's been waiting to update his equipment! there's a smarter way to save. comcast business mobile. you could save up to 70% on your wireless bill. so you don't have to compromise. powering smarter savings. powering possibilities. three-to-one 321 today closed captioning brought to you by mesobook.com if you or a loved
5:26 pm
one have neizha the liam up we'll send you a free book to answer questions you may have call now and we'll come to you 800 a31, 3,700 the politics with our podcast and is a subject so new documentary, carville winning is everything's stupid coming out this fall, james carville can congressman who represents texas's second district and the host of the podcast, hold these truths with dan crenshaw. >> dan crenshaw back democratic and mentioned, let's start with the democrat. i think james, you and i have been on the same page for all right. while on this one, we said biden had to go for a long time, cracked on our way there and the other thing i think we've been pretty aligned on is that the
5:27 pm
democrats do better when there center-left and not far our far-left. >> fairclough it's better policy and it wins elections, right? >> how do you think they did their convention with convincing the country that they are now back to the center left as opposed to the far-left. well, profile view. >> and i grade but that was one tough extraction, getting biden on her race. and yes. >> anyway, what in the hanham all shared wreck ucla, nancy pelosi a couple of genesis dr. dr. nancy came in and did it because she wanted something different in a democrats, they weren't looking for ethnic cleansing and looking for war. they've wasn't looking for new entitlement. every country wants something different in trump and biden, and we gave it to them. and i'm not surprised that country fish responding favorably i really not i thought that for one thing, they sounded like they liked
5:28 pm
america which, has been a problem with the left, has in recent years they didn't sound. >> like they liked america too much. and this convention, i heard a lot of it. you're lucky to be in american your privilege. it's the greatest country in the world, like, thank you. did you hear that term? there's going you're like that was i will never criticize democrats for putting on a good show. >> i'll never criticize democrats for being good at politics, what i criticize democrats for as being bad at policy in governing they put on a great show. they got this celebrity is in there. they dusted off those american flags that they had previously held in the attic or burned occasionally and then they brought him out for that freedom way very few the democrat activist burndowns that he is. we, as members of congress, just a few weeks ago, we had to go put american flags back up over union station in washington, dc. they put on a good show, right? full of hope and joy. and i get it. that's
5:29 pm
great. starry-eyed views of optimism of the future on policy, not so great. and then the end, this is going to be about policy or very light on that. why? >> because they don't want to contend with the fact that they own the last four years of policy. >> we do have a very unique opportunity here where we have two candidates where you can look at four years and four years, exactly what they're going to do. and you know exactly what the outcomes are. and on every metric, donald trump wins on this and so that's what we're going to keep pushing this election toward is what are the metrics that will actually make your life better? donald trump wins on this, on the policy and the outcomes associated with that i don't want to cheap talking about is i'm not going to make them january section burning flags and anything like because i just never happened with this. >> we're going by the way, you know, shellebration i'm september shallon brighton, the jake shake few. i thought my boss, president clinton, made an undeniable point of democratic positive chapters since the start, end of the cold war, they've been 51 million jobs created.
5:30 pm
>> any united states 50 million were created under democratic presidents. and 1 million under republican brand. >> that's 50 to got to be able to tie if you're going to have claimed back first of all, i love you. i love clip, miss a bullshit thing to say because as we both know, well, am i right? yeah. as we've know, but jobs created has a lot to do with the what the last guy did, clinton got rid of glass-steagall, did it anything having to do with the collapse in 2000 at the economy? i think it did so maybe some of the jobs that were lost, and i'm sorry, it just it just a bills should thing. i don't think it is that you've got to tie a policy to an outcome. i can tie policies from donald trump to outcomes. so you cut taxes, cut regulations. what does that do? it makes it easier to do business in higher people. so you're going to have job growth. you had 8% wage increase on after inflation under donald trump before the pandemic, actually 16% if you're talking about the lowest quintile earners under biden, it's been zero on every metric and he wins and i can go down the list.
5:31 pm
>> i guess that crime is down 30% in the stock market is up but metrics actually, i'll change it just bs metric know not all of them just i wouldn't even agree that fito one, you say it doesn't count. i do i wanted to blow out what is happening to bullshit number. i would agree that democrats have done a better job, a job creation, but it's not 50 to one don't lie to me. you know what? i'm in fact check, either bill, right arm, right? >> well you can put the numbers don't necessarily meet but his 50 to while, you understand the lowest unemployment in 50 years under under trump. and again, you have to associate an outcome with policies and you can't tell me what biden policy resulted in better jobs if we're if we're increasing our jobs. >> so it was a pandemic that had a lot to do. there's a massive industry winter when it's again, let's move on.
5:32 pm
>> let me ask you about you famously said something about the democratic party's to dominated by preachy females. >> i did. >> okay so where are we and i think he should get a honig award where are we now with that kamala is not shake things bill. >> if i tell morning doubt, jim, i know what i'm saying and i'm being provocative right on purpose because the identity laffin npr, massive gin drives us in a ditch every time and i'll tell you why i was right when they pick tim, whoa. all right. this guy is the most male daughter could come on what us soldier, football coach, honor. all right minnesota, but look, paul bunyan, united patients it wasn't issues. it was all about presentation. and i think there's a recognition of that
5:33 pm
into the extent that if i say something provocative that didn't come after me, don't vote for me. but i do think that our message had become too feminine. i do. i'll stand but i get your point of a tim walz, he kind of makes the case that you can be a man without being a dick about it i think the problem that we're republicans i don't know. >> i don't know how you can say the democratic party has become too feminine when they don't even know what a woman is so what the democratic party has become is far more extreme, you guys, the democrats say it's about republicans, but you provide no evidence for it. >> but the platform is based a democrats platform is changed radically is commonly referred to the democratic party that's the name, right? okay. i just want to be clear. the other thing is we always get advice from republican. you realize you hadn't won reelection in two years. not a single one. >> i wanted to swell and you
5:34 pm
have always given the democrat party advice, will come when an election in income and given advice but my observation is you're correct. republicans are bad at selling good policy. democrats are very good at selling bad policy. democrats have gotten way more extreme, way more extreme. the american people and you want an honest discussion about who is more moderate if there's independence out there looking for a more moderate candidate on every issue you're actually looking for donald trump. you may not like his grasp tweets. >> i'm telling you. i will go toe to toe with you on any issue two on this. >> very easy for me to show you that i'm not i'm not arguing with you. just say it's 50 okay we went every week hey can i. read something? you told me where this came from? you think when you think we've gotten so extreme and it's the other guys who are so tolerant and normal. okay. i'm going to ask you what year this came from. this is a policy platform. we cannot tolerate illegal immigration
5:35 pm
for years. washington talk tough but failed to act. criminal immigrants deported after committing crimes in america returned the very next day. it commit crimes again on government. this is what our party stands for the end of the era of big government, the american people don't want big government. they want a government that gives a moderate common sense agenda that will improve people's daily lives, not increase the size of government. there's a lot more where do you think that much real quick before he was outfoxed and newt gingrich and making parliamentary dnc 1996 would you let me know what i can talk? >> okay. i know i'm not going go again. >> let me know one i can talk okay. >> now the truths i don't like margaret people. >> i just i just kinda do. i think they kind of hard work and i think they contribute a bucket load to the american
5:36 pm
economy. >> i think they tend to enlisting or unfortunate at a higher rate than other people show very, very pro-immigration . >> i really but what i would hope you would also say you're against illegal immigration because if you're pro legal immigration, all these hardworking people that's i agree, i said mothers illegal immigrant i don't want people cutting in front of them in line, which is what happens when you allow an open border, 8 million illegal encounters on her buying a quarter of them released into the country. >> that is very disproportionat ely unfair to legal immigrants trying to do with the route. >> well want to caution down in probably senator lankford reportedly up up up. i know him. he's hardly a left wing democrat. and senator murphy added bill that was endorsed by the border patrol and trump killed it. okay. that's fine. but that's just where we are in yourself. i love migrant people. i'm just going to tell you that right now. and you
5:37 pm
come in, you work hard enough. >> but i mean, you yourself, i'm not yourself was on this page. >> i mean, they had the bill that guy who wrote it lankford. he's a conservative republican. you yourself spoke on this trump killed that bill because he didn't want the issue to work against him in the election. that's your boyfriend. >> how are you go first, i have to tell you what actually said about it. >> like what i said about that bill before it even got released was, hey, let's read it and anybody who has opinion on it without reading it, it's kind of stupid. that's what i said. and i stand by that. what happened with that bill is a lot more complicated. you had a very complex bill written in a dark room they come out, you've got this extremely immigration law is very complicated and everyone turn their guns on to a revision of what you just said, that it was not good. and you've a lot of grifters in your party? no, i didn't want to pet yeah. you did? i we can
5:38 pm
fact check this. i've never i've never i never got a chance to have an opinion on it. that's the problem. standby that's how i read it what i said i'll tell you exactly what i said it was the height of stupidity to have an opinion on something you haven't read yet. >> none of us had read it yet. now, there's more complexities to that. >> and i think the cynical people were were rightfully cynical saying, why are you coming up with this? >> in the last year of your administration, you had a height of 300,000 illegal crossings, just a few months ago because, you know, it's a campaign issue now, why don't you first start with putting back in place all of trump's executive orders that had gotten the border down under control down to 14,000 illegal crossings a month, which is pretty much well within kinda what in the bill that you were for until trump wanted killed. anyway, i got to move on because we have so many assist against people are watching in then our world changed. tv on the edge premieres sunday,
5:39 pm
september 20, second did nine on cnn far man, you sleep at night according record, warmth we get matched up mattress firm, sleep at night with so many choices on booking.com there are so many tina phase i could be hired body doubles, 30,000 followers, tina and a boutique hotel for 30,000 steps gina at a mountain cabin. >> booking.com, booking dot yeah. negras on to be an active the one that you actually get good sister and gave me swirls, baby back ribs. he directed now are you go get your gut on a drama maybe i'll just go get wins for everybody one greeting sabbath yeartie yeah, that's not good happen huge things happened david happened. with
5:40 pm
three learn more at rnc rnc.com. >> let's loves the center of gains so much she wished there was a way to make it last longer. say hello to your fairy godmother, alice and long long-lasting gain scent beads. part of the irresistible sink collection from gain you read the invitation introducing biometric cooling automatically detects your temperature and cools you down. >> and we all knew three roe
5:41 pm
go to deal dash.com and see how much you can say if next on the whole story. donie o'sullivan dives back into the world of misinformation. >> their computers that are used in our election have software that was illegal, will miss information cause hey else november's election the whole story with anderson cooper next on cnn funny how like you know, sometimes a single word will encapsulate the campaign. >> i remember when obama ran
5:42 pm
all the posters, just said, hope and now it's funny. the word in this election, weird tim walz got to be the vice president, everybody. he changed the narrative to like, trump is not a threat to democracy. he's just going to ruin your weekend. he's weird. >> we're still weird but i kept thinking, you know, trump is weird. everybody's worried to a degree, but there was one guy in this race who's actually really weird. and that's the guy who pulled out today, robert f. kennedy jr. and i liked both i just want to read these. are these are actual headlines in recent days rfk junior says, worm got into my brain and ate a portion of it that's weird. rfk junior denies eating a dog, but not assaulting nanny rfk junior commits to dumping a dead bear in central park, solving a decade old mystery rfk junior's says he once had a freeze you are full of roadkill
5:43 pm
meet and these are the real headline but those aren't the only ones. why do you see. the other ones rfk junior claims he's the first presidential candidate who can blow himself rfk junior campaign pledge to supply of falcon to every child in good rfk junior claims jfk had affair with marilyn manson releases his campaign autobiography should my ass said rfk junior claims beatles revolution nine contains the backwards message vaccines cause autism rfk junior reveals
5:44 pm
he once led an expedition to the titanic in the wiener mobile junior confesses to one's going to bathroom on pigeon saying it was paid back he announces his new podcast, club extremely random all right with so many choices on booking.com or so many tina phase i could be hired body doubles, mountain climbing, tina or treat crime and tonight a beach resort booking.com booking dot yeah. >> you know what's crazy this is better than cooking at home i mean, more affordable then groceries, of course groceries
5:45 pm
are expensive. photo was in trouble there for a second. >> you are all yours how do you sleep at night when i'm out just for mattress firm. do you have a low price guarantee so isolated get matched up mattress firm, sleep night mixed. >> use, long as i agree dr.
5:46 pm
complex good luck get out of my head with ryan understanding like this happy birthday. >> marty. >> oh, no, yeah. >> let me get this thanks. you're too kind of her unlimited 2% cash back t pete g. writes, “my tween wants a new phone." "how do i not break the bank?" we gotcha, pete. xfinity mobile was designed to save you money and gives you access to wifi speeds up to a gig. so you get high speeds for low prices. better than getting low speeds for high prices. -right, bruce? jealous? yeah, look at that. -honestly. someone get a helmet on this guy. get a free unlimited line for a year when you add one unlimited line. plus, get a new google pixel 9 on us. bring on the good stuff.
5:47 pm
231231. now closed captioning brought to you by meso book if you or a loved one have mesothelial will send you a free book to answer questions you may have call now and we'll come to you 800 a31, 3,700 the news palin man complaining that
5:48 pm
he went into surgery for a partial circumcision, but they ended up giving him a full circumcision. has to answer two questions. what the hell is a partial circumcision i sat was my question. and two of you were so dissatisfied, why did you leave such a big tip euro before the 2024 election season launches into the final stretch. kamala harris and tim walz have to sell us. what's so fucking funny because at this point, i don't want to share you to share your vision of america. i want you to share whatever it is you're smoking before the rally euro someone must explain how a society that knows how to create a.i. design driverless cars and land rockets on distant planets has
5:49 pm
no idea what to do with a broken chair we can replicate the power of the sun in the lab. but if a spring pops on a barca lounge, your fucking leave it on the sidewalk broken broken chairs get kicked to the curb faster than joe biden now that check-in warlord rozman gadara has attached a machine gun to a tesla cybertruck, l.a residents must admit were torn part of his thanks it's symbol of russia's descent into crude totalitarianism in part of his things this would really make the commute sweep neural the 58-year-old australian woman currently on trial for making a porn video where she was having
5:50 pm
sex with a trout has to apologize every guy on match.com whose profile picture is him doing that but honey don't give up on online dating. there's plenty of fish in the sea and finally, new role the republican ticket of trump and vance can say what it wants about mexicans, muslims journalists, sharks, windmills low-flow toilets, the fbi, brittney griner and me but for the love of god, leave childless cat ladies out of it how do we were off last month? america got to know donald trump's new piss boy, andrew
5:51 pm
dice vance the the vp candidate who has now reopened the question the very foundation of the republican party bitch, why aren't you pregnant really the biggest threat to america now is not had a nuclear armed iran or 35 trillion in debt, or another leaky lab in china. >> it's cat ladies vance says the country is being run by them in 2020. he said not having kids makes people more sociopathic and less mentally stable. and the people who are most deranged and most psychotic are people who don't have kids, have you met your running mate he's got five
5:52 pm
kids and he's out of his fucking mind and again, it's 2024 and you're still saying that people who don't marry and raise kids are inferior weirdos thanks, phyllis shlafley, let me check my beeper to see if 1993 called 1993, that's the year i went on the air with my first show. politically incorrect one of the themes that made that show different and, you know, incorrect was that the host was always pushing back against the idea that choosing to remain childless and single your whole life was to say the least odd well, now that there have been 1,000 thing pieces standing up for the childless i just like to say i was barren before it was cool yeah, i've been on
5:53 pm
this wall so just as nothing wrong with marriage is an institution, there was nothing wrong with being single either as a single person, i pay thousands in local taxes to support my neighborhood schools when i have no kids at all, but why spend just a few hours hanging around the barbizon school of design? >> suddenly i'm a stranger. i'm dating inappropriately. i'm resisting arrest i can't believe it's 30 years later. >> and here i am still having to defend not having kids, but okay here this mr. vance, one you should think about other people's posey's a lot and to
5:54 pm
having kids isn't a triumph. it's just a choice. it's morally neutral. i personally think it's really stupid when parents say my kid is my hero but what i really hate is when they say, i'm a hero because i had a kid. no, you didn't raise the flag at iwo jima, the condom broke you can shut out spawn until the sun explodes. that doesn't make you a better citizen in the people who don't. and by the way, the jokes on you, republicans have all the babies you want. we'll just keep eating them mr. vance, i often say on this show, let's live in the year we're living in. and one, i
5:55 pm
do, it's a critique of the far left who think it makes them more virtuous to never acknowledge the incredible progress progress we actually have made on progressive issues but i never forget that the right even more wants to live in another time, a time when men, florida woman's uterus should be like 711, always open but a funny thing happened on the way to buy a minivan in 1940, only 8% of households were comprised of a single person. and in 1970, it was still just 18% but today, the share of american adults under 50 without kids who say they are unlikely to ever have them stands at 47%. almost half. you're welcome yes. we are many now the number of single
5:56 pm
american households has more than tripled since 1940 when the only single women over 16 were nuns in the andrew sister did you know that back then anal sex was only practiced when the vagina was acting definitely pushing out a baby i it's funny back in the 90s when i said i'd liked being singled, people would humor me. >> it was like saying i didn't believe in god. i know crazy right but yeah, people would always be telling me that i'd eventually get bored with my head and it's and crave the shackles of family life who doesn't love the warm sensation of fresh baby iq on your shirt i've a kid one day, bill and you'll change your tune no, i like my tune i liked
5:57 pm
disposable income and free time i liked that always know where the scissors are i liked that. >> my bathroom is always free but i don't have to drink in the garage. i never step on legos in the middle of it. tonight. >> it's it's not that i disliked kids. i just don't want them. its like when i see a sign that says drive like your kids live here, i speed up really really. i don't not that much in 2021, j.d. vance said, and i quote, let's give votes to all children in this country when you go to the polls as a parent, you should have more power than people who don't have kids no, your life choices
5:58 pm
are not more valid or worthy than mine. i think people who don't smoke weed are missing out that doesn't mean woody harrelson gets to vote twice for together and lay the words you should check it out this is a big problem with republicans, always trying to force their way of life on the rest of this, you want to get married and have kids. do you think there should be prayer in schools? say one you believe homosexuality is a sin, stops blowing guys just don't mandate that. i live. how you live i'm so sick of hearing that i'm somehow deficient because i haven't surrendered
5:59 pm
my independence and taken on a better half. well, let me tell you something. i complete me and someday soon i'm going to reaffirm my vows to myself well well it seems that day has come know. >> i take meany be my lawfully on wet itself for better or worse, richer or poorer, live in re-runs and i thank you. mean for living me, for loving me unconditionally. you make me want to be a better man and i promised i will continue to surprise me into finished my own sentences never go to bed mad at myself. i vow to honor me and two cherish me and to do what i want when i want without having to ask it's permission
6:00 pm
or explain myself or work through feelings or hear about anyone else's fucking day you met all right. >> i'm sorry trevor is what i want to thank james carville then crenshaw and kaitlan collins over time, a.i thank you very much. everybody

88 Views

info Stream Only

Uploaded by TV Archive on